Not long ago, I got one of the best compliments of my life. When I asked her impression of me she said, “I think you are with a lot of women and you treat them all very well.” It made me so happy because there is this cultural belief that if you see multiple women, you are a monster and a heartless player. You can see multiple girls and still be a good dude. You need to do things differently than all of your role models have before you (after all, how many people do you know in multiple healthy relationships? Any anthropologist worth his salt will tell you that Homo sapiens evolved in non-monogamous settings (though there is still debate over whether those were more harem-like Gorilla societies or free loving bonobo societies). You need to be crystal clear and confident on this because if you choose open relationships, you will face some heavy emotional pushing to compromise on this point. If you’re caught off guard, you might revert to an easy lie. Seriously, proper planning is 50% of leading a moral life. I am happy to talk about this and I want you to feel comfortable telling me about people you’ve been with if you want.
The structure I’ve covered up until here will lay the groundwork for you to make the same impression. It’s also about leaving everyone better than you found them. The rise of sexual exclusivity likely didn’t occur until the last 10,000 years with the rise of agriculture and private property. Men and women alike, we’re biologically hardwired to seek multiple sexual partners concurrently. It is in those times that you will need to look to your North Star and follow it, despite the temptation to cave. I wanted to love different things in different girls and I wanted the freedom to never stop exploring. I’ll write more on this later, but for now take it from me: you need to plan for these questions. Personally, I won’t be asking, but you should feel free to tell me if it is important to you.
You’ve probably never gotten this real with people. There are too many wonderful, beautiful people for me to shut any doors.
She needs to agree that being open is good and worthwhile. If you create these 4 emotions in a SPECIFIC order, you are guaranteed to make an amazing first impression. This explanatory video takes less than seven minutes to watch and is 100% free.
Plan on seeing her no more than once a week and usually only at night/the following morning. But you need to be damn clear that things ARE NOT exclusive and they ARE NOT moving towards exclusivity.
Tell her you like that things are casual between the two of you and that you are happy there is no boyfriend/girlfriend expectation. A lot of girls think that after a period of time in an open relationship, you’ll come around. A girl can be crazy about you, but if her friends make her feel like shit for seeing you, you’re done.
Be Honest Never mislead someone into assuming they’re in a monogamous relationship with you — sure, you can always use the “you know what they say about people who assume” excuse, but you’ll still be the ass in the situation.
If you feel like you’re maaaaybe leading someone on, you probably are.